Had a doctor visit this morning with my surgeon from two years ago.  He was all like LOLwut? And I was like Yeahso, and he was like Oh, OK, go get an MRI with this dye injection and come back to see my friend here who does spinal injections and pain management, and we'll get you an epidural if the MRI says so.

So I head downstairs to the MRI place and they get me strapped down and injected, and I get shoved in my own personal torpedo tube.  They're all about warning you about the noise and the tight fit and claustrophobia and etc.  I was all like, guys guys guys, just stick me and shove me in the tube, yo.  I'm, like, tired.

So they stick me and shove me in the tube. They actually wedged my head in place with some nifty little pillows that blocked 80 percent of the noise (and I had earplugs for the remaining noise), then locked my torso in with some pillows, then shoved me in.  My shoulders...hrm.  My ancestors were not built for speed. They were built for combat.  My shoulders are wide, and it has nothing to do with the exercises I do, I'm just built funny.  So they shove me in and I'm like "gack" and sort of rolled into a cigar shape.  Then they keep shoving me all the way to damn near the other end.

The roof of the tube is like six inches from my nose.

I can see how people get freaked out.  They start it up and tell you, OK, now we're going to make loud fucking noises for the next twenty minutes and then it starts making all this noise like a 1980's Industrial Noise Band From Germany.

I fell asleep ten minutes into it.  The guy operating the thing had to wake me for the injection of the dye (they do that after the initial saline injection to get a contrast spread).  He thought it was hilarious that I'd been snoring away.

So they finish, and I'm all dizzy because the iron in my blood has been rapidly stirred (at something like 50k rpm!).  Once dressed and out the door, I get to my car and some total bastard has parked a Royal Enfield Electra X next to me.

That....look.  One of these days I will be the proud owner of a 2008 Electra X.  I am not now because this guy bought the last one in the state.  So I thought, hey.

My back is better-ish.

I should steal this guy's bike.

And I totally didn't.