Print Story Day....six?
Ranting
By blixco (Thu Jun 19, 2008 at 10:44:00 PM EST) (all tags)
No no no no no no no no....


My back went out. Seven months of hard exercise to strengthen my back and abs and everything...FUCK.

I am using my TENS unit for the first time in months.  I can't walk. This is more pain than I have been in, in a while. 

Holy shit, I used to live like this.

I'll get to a doc tomorrow.  But I know the cause:

stress or

I've blown my disk again.

Fuck.

I've not..look, I don't normally start fucking crying when I am in pain.

I can deal with pain, but I am also totally alone right now.

Fuck sake.

I hate my goddamn back.  I'd end it if I could.  Cut it off.  Remove it. Blow my back out with a single .40 glaser.

Fuck it.

Goddamn thing.  My TENS isn;t enough. Not even  close.

What do I do? Fuck sake my motorcycle safety foundation class starts tomorrow, with riding on Sat and Sun, and its not refundable.  Fuck.

I can't WALK. How can I expect to sit in a class for five ghours? Or ride a goddamn motorcycle for eihght? FUCK.

FUCK!

< Wah | i have the best job in the world >
Day....six? | 35 comments (35 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback
get well soon by misslake (4.00 / 1) #1 Thu Jun 19, 2008 at 11:04:04 PM EST
hope you feel better in the most immediate way. do

you have preferred deities for me to pray to in your honour?



I have no dieties. by blixco (2.00 / 0) #4 Thu Jun 19, 2008 at 11:40:24 PM EST
I just spent the better part of an hour cursing god and punching walls because, fuck why me?

I destroyed the floor fan that I use to sleep.  For no reason. I am just, fuck.

I hurt, and it has been a LONG time since I have hurt this bad.

Maybe I will feel well enough by morning to get to the ER. Hpefully.
---------------------------------
"You bring the weasel, I'll bring the whiskey." - kellnerin
[ Parent ]

My other response by blixco (2.00 / 0) #7 Fri Jun 20, 2008 at 12:19:17 AM EST
sounds awful.

What I meant to say was:

Thanks. One day, we'll meet and I'll say, hey, thanks.  In person and everything.
---------------------------------
"You bring the weasel, I'll bring the whiskey." - kellnerin
[ Parent ]

Your doctor will know what to do. by muchagecko (4.00 / 1) #2 Thu Jun 19, 2008 at 11:04:59 PM EST
Just get in to see him tomorrow.

Maybe a doctor's note will get you into a later class?

"It's the abstract I deal in; software, and donuts." MohammedNiyalSayeed


Hopefully by blixco (4.00 / 2) #5 Thu Jun 19, 2008 at 11:42:23 PM EST
I will get to the ER. My doc is closed tomorrow, but she'd tell me to get to an ER or an urgent need equivalent.

I had one flexiril and one Norco left, plus a lot of vodka.

I mighht make it. Maybe.
---------------------------------
"You bring the weasel, I'll bring the whiskey." - kellnerin
[ Parent ]

Good thing I didn't dump my kids on you. by muchagecko (2.00 / 0) #11 Fri Jun 20, 2008 at 03:08:59 AM EST
It's been so long since you were in pain, I forgot how f*ed up it was.

Why do you have to wait to go to the ER?

"It's the abstract I deal in; software, and donuts." MohammedNiyalSayeed
[ Parent ]

I was a little too by blixco (4.00 / 1) #16 Fri Jun 20, 2008 at 10:04:49 AM EST
gone to drive.

Will head in today, though.
---------------------------------
"You bring the weasel, I'll bring the whiskey." - kellnerin
[ Parent ]

fuck's sake!!! by clock (4.00 / 1) #3 Thu Jun 19, 2008 at 11:22:44 PM EST
that is total bullshit.  it's a fucking shame you can't get a back-ee-otomy or whatever.

docs can do things.  good luck.  that just sucks.

good vibes...


Clock is right. [nt] --vorheesleatherface



The next sugreryq by blixco (4.00 / 3) #6 Thu Jun 19, 2008 at 11:43:42 PM EST
will be a disk replacement or a disk fusion.

Fucjk this. I don't want my back to work if working = this shit. I'm tired of this already.
---------------------------------
"You bring the weasel, I'll bring the whiskey." - kellnerin
[ Parent ]

my uncle had disk fusion by MillMan (2.00 / 0) #10 Fri Jun 20, 2008 at 02:28:14 AM EST
after a snowmobiling accident. Lower 6 vertebrae IIRC. He can't sit for very long but he doesn't endure much pain.

When I'm imprisoned as an enemy combatant, will you blog about it?
[ Parent ]

My dad had fusion by wiredog (2.00 / 0) #14 Fri Jun 20, 2008 at 07:36:17 AM EST
after he broke his neck. Lost some mobility, but no pain.

Earth First!
(We can strip mine the rest later.)

[ Parent ]

Sorry to hear by tuscoops (4.00 / 2) #8 Fri Jun 20, 2008 at 01:08:00 AM EST
I've had recent, recurring debilitating back issues myself...so much so that if I had a gun I'd be dead by now..and there is no drug on the market that can knock out that kind of pain..well...maybe a morphine drip, but they don't give that to you at the doctors offices.

I was in a pretty bad car accident a few years ago and was told I would have back issues for the rest of my life, but I didn't realize that meant 16 straight hours of pain...though I have found that the pain can make me do almost anything...like drive for several hours in the middle of the night to try to get to a place with a better mattress (long story), though it did seem like the car drive alleviated some of the pain.

Mostly, I'd just pace around as much as possible, as sitting or standing still just makes me focus on the pain even more. It's pain so bad that I have vomited...on several occasions because of it..I can't say I've experienced pain to such an extent in any other capacity, so it's not as if I'd normally vomit when in pain.

The other problem I had was financial, as it would mean seeing a chiropractor, 3+ days a week, for the rest of my life. $30 a visit and, well...you do the math...it's a ridiculous sum and I really hoped that I could simply find some kind of wonder pill for it all.

On my last doctors visit, I was told to purchase this in the largest size possible, roll every night on my back, or as often as possible, and take as long as necessary to make my entire back feel as if I could roll over it with ease.

I have done this every day since (though the exception was last night) and, until today, I have had no pain whatsoever..or at least none to the extent that I was in before.

It's not as fancy as the TENS unit, I suppose, but it has made more difference than exercise, or overdosing on pain meds ever did for me. It is a rather overpriced piece of plastic, but it is a much smaller sum than the $250,000+ I'd be paying a chiropractor.

Basically, if you haven't already, you should try it. I scoffed at it at first, but it does seriously work.



I'll try it. by blixco (4.00 / 1) #23 Fri Jun 20, 2008 at 03:40:12 PM EST
I've been working out...exercises that are made to strengthen my core...for like a long time now.

I'm all for surgery again, if it looks like it will help, but in the interim, I'll give it a shot.
---------------------------------
"You bring the weasel, I'll bring the whiskey." - kellnerin
[ Parent ]

Cool by tuscoops (4.00 / 1) #34 Fri Jun 20, 2008 at 11:09:35 PM EST
I actually bought this one specifically (not sure how much difference there is in different manufacturers). I have neck and the opposing hip injuries...so basically, my neck goes one way and my hips go the other, resulting in very excruciating back pain. I just roll on this thing once or twice a day, hear all the little pops along the way, and once they stop, I stop. It's pretty much a no-brainer method. I seriously hope it works as well for you, or that something else does because that kind of pain is seriously dangerous....not only for the body, but for ones state of mind as well.

[ Parent ]

Dude. by bruno (4.00 / 1) #9 Fri Jun 20, 2008 at 02:20:44 AM EST
I hope everything got fixed on Day 7.  Dude.  Not good.  I worry about you. 

I hope you have some neighbors or something that can pop in and keep an eye on you.  I don't want to find that on Day 27, you've been laying on the floor in the bathroom in a pool of urine starving to death.  This isn't how I had pictured it!



Don't worry about me, by blixco (2.00 / 0) #24 Fri Jun 20, 2008 at 03:41:36 PM EST
worry about those babies.  I'll be fine.

Just do me a favor? Tell those kids, hey, when you get old enough to do it, don't sit around for a living.  We're not made for it.
---------------------------------
"You bring the weasel, I'll bring the whiskey." - kellnerin
[ Parent ]

Good Advice... by bruno (4.00 / 1) #35 Sat Jun 21, 2008 at 02:12:49 AM EST
I think you may just be right about that.

[ Parent ]

Healing vibes etc by johnny (4.00 / 1) #12 Fri Jun 20, 2008 at 07:06:21 AM EST
I've had pain like that, but not for a long time, thank Fred.

Good luck and I hope you find a good doctor with some good meds and therapy.

In my case, I'm now convinced that stress was a pretty big of the picture. Not the whole picture, of course. But the absolute worst thing anybody could say to me when I was in agony was "relax, you're just stressing yourself."  That kind of thing makes you so stressed you could commit murder.

But I do hope that if their are any (non-chemical) stress reducers available (music, bed rest, meditation, what-the-fuck-do-I-know, etc)that you'll use them.

We loves you, whatever that's worth.
Buy my books, dammit!


Stress. by blixco (4.00 / 1) #25 Fri Jun 20, 2008 at 03:44:03 PM EST
It is normally stress that kicks this off lately.  I've been using exercise to relax, but yeah.

Thanks, by the way. I love you guys too.
---------------------------------
"You bring the weasel, I'll bring the whiskey." - kellnerin
[ Parent ]

A gentle hug, by toxicfur (4.00 / 1) #13 Fri Jun 20, 2008 at 07:15:26 AM EST
and some tears of rage for you. It's not fucking fair. I hope it gets straightened out promptly. There's really nothing worse than constant pain.
--
To Rollins lesbians are like cuddly pandas: cute, exotic, forest-dwelling, dangerous when riled and unable to produce offspring without assistance.-CRwM


It'll get better. by blixco (2.00 / 0) #26 Fri Jun 20, 2008 at 03:45:10 PM EST
It hasn't been this bad in a couple of years, but the drugs are starting to work.

I can't believe I lived like this.  Damn.

Anyhow, thanks!
---------------------------------
"You bring the weasel, I'll bring the whiskey." - kellnerin
[ Parent ]

I can punch you in the kidney by sasquatchan (4.00 / 1) #15 Fri Jun 20, 2008 at 09:30:29 AM EST
might take your mind off the back for a few seconds..



I'll send you some Virtual Hugz over on FB by ammoniacal (4.00 / 1) #17 Fri Jun 20, 2008 at 10:36:22 AM EST
Make sure you send some back!

Irony: ammo says it's time. Tom is blocked.


I still don't have a handle by blixco (4.00 / 1) #27 Fri Jun 20, 2008 at 03:46:55 PM EST
on FB and the various things involved, but know that you, dude, are the only reason I ever check the damn thing.

So, thanks.  And I'm totally going to send you something ridiculous.
---------------------------------
"You bring the weasel, I'll bring the whiskey." - kellnerin
[ Parent ]

Fuck. by ObviousTroll (4.00 / 1) #18 Fri Jun 20, 2008 at 11:49:15 AM EST
inversion therapy?

My back started spasming the other night when I laid down - which hasn't happened since I was over 300 pounds; fortunately some muscle relaxers and massage kept it from locking up.


--
Has anybody seen my clue? I know I had it when I came in here.


I may hit up by blixco (2.00 / 0) #28 Fri Jun 20, 2008 at 03:47:53 PM EST
one of the local "targeted traction" chiros. I've heard very good things about it, from my GP and other people who have bad backs.
---------------------------------
"You bring the weasel, I'll bring the whiskey." - kellnerin
[ Parent ]

Oh, man by iGrrrl (4.00 / 1) #19 Fri Jun 20, 2008 at 12:30:56 PM EST
I'm sorry.

"I don't have time for martial law, I have to get to the gym!" zarathus


Thanks, by blixco (2.00 / 0) #29 Fri Jun 20, 2008 at 03:48:37 PM EST
I'll be OK.  Just need to give the drugs some time to kick in.

The trip to the ER was something.  I'll have to write about it.
---------------------------------
"You bring the weasel, I'll bring the whiskey." - kellnerin
[ Parent ]

Good on them by ambrosen (4.00 / 1) #33 Fri Jun 20, 2008 at 05:53:22 PM EST
Hang in there.

I know it's easier said than done.

[ Parent ]

Man... by grendel (4.00 / 1) #20 Fri Jun 20, 2008 at 02:53:41 PM EST
I hope they were able to do something for you at the ER. I'm pulling for you brother.



Drugs! by blixco (4.00 / 1) #22 Fri Jun 20, 2008 at 03:38:41 PM EST
I got an x-ray, and they gave me a course of steroids and painkillers and muscle relaxants and it is all kicking in right now.

I'll be fine.  Just need to let these things do their work.
---------------------------------
"You bring the weasel, I'll bring the whiskey." - kellnerin
[ Parent ]

My long ago offer still stands. by grendel (4.00 / 2) #31 Fri Jun 20, 2008 at 04:44:39 PM EST
I do have the Time Life Home Surgery books and would be more than happy to try to fix you.

[ Parent ]

Fuck/Sorry/Shit/HUFBS/Sending MUCH Healing Energy by rizzo (4.00 / 1) #21 Fri Jun 20, 2008 at 02:56:19 PM EST

This is clearly karma for what you did to Tibet...

Be careful with that TENS unit -- according to the overmind, "Do not turn TENS up too high as this can cause over-stimulation which may make pain worse. There should be no muscle contraction."

As for MSF, I'm sure if you call and scream incoherently at them that they'll let you reschedule. They really don't want you there in this condition any more than you'll want to be there. After all, non-refundable ain't non-transferrable.

Sleep. Check in with us on piss breaks just to let us know that White Jesus hasn't yet spared you the pain of living.

Love you man.
--



Thanks mang. by blixco (2.00 / 0) #30 Fri Jun 20, 2008 at 03:49:59 PM EST
I checked with the msf course...they're booked through August (I'd booked in May) and they'll not reschedule.  They're giving me a partial refund.

Soooo....fuck 'em.  I'll do it the old fashioned way until fall.
---------------------------------
"You bring the weasel, I'll bring the whiskey." - kellnerin
[ Parent ]

WTF by ambrosen (2.00 / 0) #32 Fri Jun 20, 2008 at 05:52:13 PM EST
I screwed up Tibet, not him.

[ Parent ]

Day....six? | 35 comments (35 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback